


Time-Travel Induced Weirdness

by Chloe_Sek



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Crack, Gen, I Blame Team Four Star
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 05:13:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9306815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chloe_Sek/pseuds/Chloe_Sek
Summary: Written for a prompt on the new DBZ kink meme. Future Trunks travels to the past to warn everyone about the androids but unfortunately for him the parallel-timeline past versions of his parents are more interested in him than each other. Trauma and awkwardness ensues once they learn who the mystery dude really is. Warning: Kind of cracky and partially inspired by a few DBZ Abridged episodes.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z or anything else related to the franchise except some old DVDs. 
> 
> This fic was written to fulfill this prompt on the Dragon Ball kink/prompt meme. It is cross-posted over there too, although I've done some more editing on this version of the story to (hopefully) make it better. The prompt is here: http://dragonkink.dreamwidth.org/1166.html?thread=74638#cmt74638
> 
> Warnings: I marked this as PG-13 because while there's no actual incest, Bulma and Vegeta pull a Marty's mom move and accidentally hit on their time-traveling son. 
> 
> Other Notes: For the sake of this story, Bulma and Yamcha broke up some time before Freeza came to Earth, but are still buds and so that’s why Yamcha’s not jealous of her flirting with “hot purple-haired guy.”

The mysterious young man was just so fucking polite and it pissed Vegeta off to no end. First, he had the nerve to pretend to be a Super Saiyan. Kakarrot was the only Super Saiyan out there. (This was a fact that Vegeta tried not to think about too often, as it wounded his pride that that third-class warrior had surpassed him.) Furthermore, the only Saiyans left in existence were himself, Kakarrot and Kakarrot’s half-breed son. 

Then the boy went and killed Freeza with a sword, like he was trying to look cool, and then tried to surpass that flashy display by killing King Cold without his sword. As if that was necessary! Vegeta had the situation completely under control. Then, he acts all polite and cute, like he’s some weakling human just like the cannon fodder---Z Fighters. Those humans seemed to just love the boy, accepting drinks from his fridge like they were, what was the term that Earth Woman had used? Oh yes, drinking buddies.  
The fact that the boy acted like he had special knowledge, such as the precise time and location when Kakarrot would arrive, pissed Vegeta off too. The boy just knew so many things, but wouldn’t even tell them his name when pressured. Vegeta thought that the boy was full of it, but decided to stick around just in case he tried something. Vegeta wanted to stick around on the off chance that the boy was right. 

To accomplish his ‘keeping an eye on the mysterious boy’ goal, Vegeta decided the best course of action was to sit on a rock by himself. Meanwhile said boy was chatting with Bulma. 'This must be the more of the drinking buddy interaction', Vegeta thought to himself. That was suspicious, how was it that someone who was supposed to be a Saiyan looked so comfortable around Earthlings? That, combined with the weird hair and eye color made Vegeta think that he was a fraud. When Vegeta brought that idea up, the boy dodged his questions and the humans (as well as the Namekian and talking cat) didn’t seem to care. They were just happy that the powerful boy who had killed Freeza and King Cold was on their side. Thus resulting in the boy chatting with the rest of the group and Vegeta hanging out on his rock by himself. 

“So, are you an employee for Capsule Corp?” Bulma asked. “You must be new, because I think I would have remembered someone as handsome as you.” 

The boy blushed at that one. “Well, you know my mother always said I was handsome.” 

“Oh, a mama’s boy are you?” Bulma clung to the mystery boy’s arm and winked at him. “I can be your mommy, cutie.” 

The mystery boy escaped from her grip and jumped back as though he was burned. “That’s really not necessary. I-I’ll just go sit on this rock. Over here.” Trunks went and did exactly that, sitting a reasonable distance away from both of his parents. 

Vegeta was amused. It appeared that the boy didn’t care much for Bulma’s rather forceful approach to flirting. Then again, maybe he just didn’t care for Bulma in that way. Speaking of which, Bulma was a bit taken aback that the boy didn’t seem interested in her. How strange. She was a beautiful, awesome genius after all. The mystery boy would be a good match for her, even if he was a little on the young side for guys she went for. He was a Super Saiyan, which Bulma found hot, and he was so much more polite and humble than Vegeta was, and could possibly be talked into donating some blood samples for her lab. Plus, he had an unusual and pretty hair color, just like her. They could share hair products once he stopped being so shy. 

“Wow Bulma, looks like you struck out on that one,” Yamcha teased. 

“Did you just make a baseball pun?” 

Yamcha smirked and took a drink of his drink, “Maybe I did.”

Everyone laughed at that one. 

“Ugh, whatever. Once he realizes what a perfect, beautiful, and awesome genius I am, he’ll come crawling to me. He’s just a little shy is all. Actually,” Bulma clasped her hands together and blushed, “It’s so cute and adorable.”

Yamcha just sighed and rolled his eyes. He was used to Bulma’s ego-centric boasting at this point. It came with the territory since he had known her since they were teenagers and still lived with her even though they were no longer a couple.

Meanwhile, Tien, Krillin, Puar, Chiaotzu, Piccolo, and Gohan drank their sodas and talked amongst themselves, apparently not particularly interested in Bulma’s attempts to hook up with a new boyfriend. 

Trunks blushed and squirmed and tried to just focus on his soda, rather than the younger version of his mother gushing over what a perfect couple they would make while her friends half-heartedly listened for the sake of politeness. Unfortunately, he couldn’t risk telling Bulma that he was her son from the future because that might inadvertently cause him not to exist in this timeline. There was the possibility that he could be born to late or too early, or that Bulma would have a completely different child if he meddled too much, or no children. He was already in uncharted waters by being the first person to ever time-travel. Hopefully, she would lay off on the flirting. 

‘Just focus on the soda,’ he thought to himself. Eventually Trunks became distracted by his father’s presence. It was one thing to look at the handful of photographs that had managed to survive through the various android attacks and quite another to actually see him in person. Trunks never could have imagined his father wearing something causal like the “BADMAN” shirt either. His father was wearing Saiyan armor in all of the pictures that Trunks had and the armor didn’t have any flashy colors like hot pink and mustard yellow. Unfortunately for Trunks, Vegeta noticed him staring after a few minutes. 

“What are you looking at boy? You like what you see?” Vegeta smirked. 

“N-No. I was just admiring your shirt,” Trunks immediately looked away, red in the face again. Great. Not only was his mother hitting on him, but his dad thought he was ogling him! This whole trip was shaping up to be rather embarrassing.

“Sure you were,” Vegeta laughed. “Hey Earth woman! Your new boyfriend likes me more than you.”

“WHAT!? No he doesn’t!” Bulma immediately broke off her conversation with Yamcha and marched over to Vegeta’s rock. Despite not having the ability to manipulate ki, Bulma gave off a menacing aura that made everyone stop mid-conversation. 

“You take that back. There’s no way he prefers you to me!”

“Oh really? He just spent the last few minutes staring at me, and then lied and said he was just admiring my shirt. That’s such a terrible excuse; this shirt is hideous. Didn’t you boy?”

Trunks didn’t respond, but instead tried to shrink into a ball, pretending not to exist. 

“Stop berating him! Can’t you see that he’s shy? It’s soooo cute too; he probably doesn’t have a lot of experience either,” Bulma gushed. “Don’t worry cutie, I can help you out with that!” 

Trunks just curled further up into a ball on his rock. 

Vegeta just laughed at that. “You’re the one who’s upsetting him.” Vegeta then addressed Trunks, “If you’re really a Saiyan, you’ll stop cowering on that rock there and pick me over her.”

“Why would he want you when he could have me, the beautiful genius with great hair?” Bulma asked.

“Saiyans are attracted to strength and you are still just a weak human, even weaker than those fools. He would clearly prefer me to you.”

“Oh, so now you’re admitting he’s a Saiyan? What happened to, “all the Saiyans are dead, so he can’t be a Super Saiyan’?”

“Alright, maybe he is a Saiyan. I did miscount before and didn’t realize the rouge pirate Turles was still around. He isn’t a Super Saiyan though and can’t be a full-blooded Saiyan with that hair. Only Kakorot has achieved that form and I will surpass him and---”

“Maybe you should just go obsess over Goku and let me have the hot purple-haired guy. That’s another thing. He’s way too hot for you. Clearly, he would prefer someone who is beautiful too, like me.”

“I am the Prince of All Saiyans and being Saiyan royalty makes me superior to you.”

“I’m the inventor of the Dragon Radar, heir to the Capsule Corporation and holder of four doctorates. Being the Capsule Corp heir is like being royalty and our inventions help everyone have easier lives. And now that I think about it, if I hadn’t invented the Dragon Radar, we would all be dead and you would still be in Hell. So there.” In a rather childish move, Bulma stuck her tongue out at him. 

Tien thought about it for a minute. Bulma’s Dragon Radar had resulted in all of them being resurrected, not to mention resulted in Goku seeing the world and training to get stronger---and without Goku they probably all would have died when King Piccolo came into power or when Goku’s brother Raditz showed up. Plus, figuring out a way to track the radiation emitted from magical objects was impressive. 

“Bulma does have a good point about the importance of the Dragon Radar,” Tien spoke up. 

“Oh, thank you Tien! It’s so nice that you’re on my side in this manner. Other people,”she glared at the rest of the group, “could stand to be a little more supportive.”

Tien sighed. “I’m only agreeing with you about how important the Dragon Radar is. I’m not taking sides in your ridiculous fight. By the way, I don’t think he likes either of you because he’s been sneaking away from here since you two started fighting over him like children. No offense to Gohan.”

“WHAT?! Hey, hot purple-haired guy, get back here!” Bulma and Vegeta shouted in unison.

Trunks stopped walking, and turned around slowly. Then, he suddenly flew away as fast as he could. 

“I hope you two are proud of yourselves. You’ve scared off the poor man,” Krillin said, arms crossed and radiating disapproval. 

“Maybe next time you two shouldn’t come on so strong. You should apologize when he comes back,” Yamcha added. 

Bulma looked guilty but didn’t want to admit Yamcha was right, while Vegeta did what he usually does in these types of situations and mumbled something about “royalty” and “prince” and “can do what I want.”

Gohan spoke up for the first time since the bizarre flirting/harassment started. “Is he going to come back? I want to talk to him some more; he’s really cool!” 

“I don’t know. He did really seem eager to meet Goku, so he might be back after he gets here,” Puar said. 

“Do you think we should go find him?” Chiaotzu asked.

“Maybe he just needs some time alone after that,” Yamcha said, while shooting dirty looks at Vegeta and Bulma. Bulma, to her credit, did seem to feel guilty about frightening off the mysterious stranger. Vegeta, to no one’s surprise, did not think that there was anything to feel bad about.

The mood was subdued for the next couple of hours while everyone waited for Goku and the mystery boy to come back. The mystery boy seemed to be suppressing his ki, not wanting anyone to come after him.

However, shortly before Goku was due to arrive, the young man came back. He smiled and greeted everyone, then stayed the hell away from Vegeta and Bulma. Bulma however, approached him, wanting to apologize. “Look, you’re very hot and cute but I’m sorry that I freaked you out. I hope we can get along and I won’t try to hit on you anymore if you don’t like it.” Bulma then offered her hand for a handshake and Trunks accepted it. 

“It’s okay. Thanks for apologizing,” Trunks felt he had no choice but to accept the apology. She was his mother after all, even if it was a different timeline and it wasn’t like she knew he was her son from the future. 

“Vegeta, you apologize too!” Bulma yelled, glaring at Vegeta who was still sulking away from the rest of the group. 

“The Prince of all Saiyans does not apologize for anything.”

“Well you should! If I’m being responsible and apologizing, you can too,” Bulma marched over to him. 

“That’s what you think. It’s the boy’s problem if he can’t handle it. Besides, he’s the one who started it by staring at me.” 

“He was probably just happy to see another Saiyan, since you guys are almost extinct, you jackass!” 

“If that’s the case, he could have just said so. I still don’t completely believe he’s a true Saiyan with that bizarre coloring and him getting along with Earthlings so well. It’s weird, he looks a little like you and has almost the same stupid hair.”

“Not this again. By the way, full-blooded Saiyans can get along with Earthlings just fine. Once we taught Goku to always wear clothes in public and to stop patting people in the crouch to find out whether they were male or female, he was just fine. I’m not even that mad at you for insulting my perfect hair because at least I don’t look like a troll doll or a Christmas tree…” Bulma trailed off and then clapped her hands together in glee. 

“I am so decorating your hair like a Christmas tree this year. Yamcha, you need to help me!” 

“Leave me out of this. I’m not going to help you decorate Vegeta’s hair if he doesn’t want to,”

“But it will be so funny,” Bulma insisted. Noticing the horrified expressions on both of their faces, Bulma added, “I really need to get some roommates who know how to have fun.” 

“Maybe instead of decorating my hair, we could do something about yours. You look like one of those people in those old movies your mother watches that are always dancing in a stupid way to the terrible music.” Vegeta badly mimed disco dancing, much to everyone's amusement. 

“My hair is perfect and wonderful and you will respect it!” Bulma screamed.

“Oh dear God not again.” Trunks walked over to the mini-fridge. Tien and Chiaotzu were grabbing more sodas and thankfully there was still some beer left. At least Trunks’ parents weren’t hitting on him again, or arguing over which one of them he liked better, but it still turned into a shouting match over who was better looking and who had the best (or least stupid) hair. 

“Aren’t you too young to be drinking?” Tien asked.

“I can drink if I want to!” Trunks’ ki spiked.

“Okay, calm down,” Tien said. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m just having a stressful day.” 

“Because of Bulma and Vegeta? Don’t worry, you get used to them,” Tien said.

“Or at least you get used to Bulma. I’m not so sure about Vegeta,” Chiaotzu added.

Trunks took a drink of his beer, then immediately spat it out. 

“Have you ever even had beer before?” Chiaotzu asked. 

“No. I’ve tried other things but I guess I don’t like beer.” Trunks put the can down. 

Gohan came over to their group. “Maybe you should have one of the juices or the water. My mom says that beer makes your brain stupid anyway,” Gohan opened the fridge, pulling out two of the berry-flavored juices, handing one to Trunks. 

“Thanks.” Trunks smiled. 

“That’s the first time you’ve looked happy since Bulma and Vegeta got tried to make you be their boyfriend,” Gohan said, smiling brightly. 

“Ugh!” Trunks shuddered.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Gohan was worried. He didn’t want to make this stranger who was nice enough to save them from Freeza upset and have him run away again. 

“Don’t worry Gohan, it’s nothing you did. Just please don’t mention that again. We should talk about something else.”  
Gohan took that as a cue to begin a lengthy explanation about his favorite types of math problems. Trunks could follow along alright thanks to his mother teaching him that sort of thing, but he was still impressed at how much Gohan knew at such a young age. If he hadn’t been murdered by the androids, maybe he could have fulfilled his dream of being a scholar and a teacher…Trunks stopped himself. That line of thinking only lead to despair. At least in this timeline Gohan could have a chance to be happy instead of having the weight of being the last hope for the world on his shoulders, a burden that was now Trunks’ to bear. 

Trunks brushed aside those thoughts and gave his full attention to the conversion. Piccolo and Krilin, eventually drifted over to the group too. Previously they had been keeping an eye on Bulma and Vegeta to make sure no serious violence erupted for Bulma’s sake, but they seemed to be having fun arguing. 

After pleasantly chatting with Gohan as well as Tien, Chaotzu, Piccolo, and Krillin for a few minutes, Yamcha came over and wanted to talk to him.

“Hey, um guy? Sorry I don’t know your name. Can I talk to you for a minute? I think I can help you with your problem. ” 

“Sure, I guess.” Trunks excused himself from the group and followed Yamcha over to yet another rock formation. Even though he kept his cool in front of the others, he was beginning to panic. Oh god, what now? Yamcha better not be thinking of hitting on him too. Fortunately for Trunks’ nerves, that was not the case. 

“Look, I just wanted to apologize for Vegeta and Bulma’s behavior. I know that those two can be difficult to deal with. I can’t vouch for Vegeta, but Bulma is actually a good person once you get to know her.” 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. At least she apologized about the whole thing.”

“Glad to hear it! Use this if you ever have a difficult time with them again.” Yamcha handed Trunks some brown paper bags. Seeing the confused look on Trunks’ face, Yamcha said, “You’re supposed to breathe into them. Like hyperventilation. It’s really helped me. I live with them you know, and sometimes it gets pretty crazy.”

“Thank you,” Trunks grabbed one of the bags and started using it in that manner. After a little while, he stopped. 

“You know, I feel a little bit better. Thanks, Yamcha.” 

Just then, a space pod came hurtling to the ground, at the exact spot and time that Trunks had said. Son Goku emerged from the pod and was greeted by the uproarious cheering of his friends and son. After showing off his new teleportation technique, he stepped aside to have a private conversation with Trunks.

*************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Goku was amazing, just like his mom---the one from his timeline, not his young mom had said. Trunks handed him the anti-viral drugs for his upcoming heart virus. With Goku around to fight the androids, there might be hope for this timeline. Furthermore, Trunks could complete his real purpose, which was to find some weakness in the mechanical monsters so he could destroy them in his timeline and set his world free. That was, after he went home and had a cold hard drink that wasn’t beer. Trunks’ mother had given him the capsule fridge and the drinks, but he could get his own alcohol.

Sure, he was technically still a minor but it so happened that most people didn’t care so much about accidentally or purposefully selling alcohol to minors when they had to deal with marauding androids. It wasn’t like society had much law and order anymore, and what little authority figures that remained seemed more interested in building weapons in a desperate attempt to fight the androids and supporting the remaining population as best as they could with limited resources, than under-aged drinking.  
Trunks’ parents both hitting on him, even if it was accidental, and even if Bulma had apologized was just way too much him to deal with. Trunks wondered how he would look his mother in the eye when he got back home and if he would even exist in this timeline, since Bulma and Vegeta seemed much more interested in him than each other. He wouldn’t fade out of existence like in that old movie he saw, but it was still possible that he wouldn’t exist here. He wondered how he would explain that one to his mom. ‘Good news mom, I managed to save that other timeline and kill the androids here, but unfortunately I don’t exist over there because you and dad in the past were more interested in me than each other.’

Just thinking about it gave Trunks a headache and made him want to throw up a little. Hopefully after he left his parents would lose interest in him and get together like they were supposed to. Either way, the 'I’m your son from the future,' conversation would still need to happen in three years for them and a couple of months for him. It was going to be difficult. 

“Can I have a hint about who you are? I promise to keep it a secret. I think it’s really neat that there’s more strong guys like you in the future,” Goku said. 

“Okay. I will tell you, but you can only tell the others about when the androids will be here. My mother is a scientist who specializes in robotics and machines. My father was one of the last full-blooded Saiyans,” Trunks glanced unsubtly over to where Bulma and Vegeta were still arguing over which one of them was hotter. 

“Bulma and Vegeta?! I didn’t see than one coming. I always thought she’d stick with Yamcha since they’ve been together since we were all kids. I wonder why she dumped him.”

Trunks looked over to the rest of the group where Yamcha was shaking his head in disbelief and annoyance and his parents’ behavior. “Maybe the breakup wasn’t her idea,” Trunks cared deeply about his mother and since the androids had murdered Gohan, she was the only living person he loved. However, having met his younger mother as well as his father for the first time that he could remember, Trunks was having that moment that happens to all children when they grow up and realize that their parents aren’t saintly and perfect.

“I guess Bulma and Vegeta are both kind of angry and scary and that’s why,” Goku looked like he was giving the manner some serious thought. 

“Or maybe they just have something in common, where they like to hit on their son from the future,” Trunks shuddered. 

“They tried to beat you up? Oh, you mean the kind where they try to make you be their boyfriend.”

Trunks cringed, but then nodded. (How interesting that both Goku and Gohan described the situation in the exact same way.) 

“And you can’t tell them they’re really your parents---”

Trunks finished his sentence for him. “Because then I might not exist in this timeline if I do. I will tell them in three years after hopefully I have been born here. It’s going to be difficult.” 

“Don’t worry! You’ve been fighting those androids for so long, I’m sure you can handle this. Maybe eventually you can look back on it and laugh.” Seeing how upset Trunks looked, Goku attempted to cheer him up by patting him on the shoulder. 

That was a nice gesture for Goku to make, but it didn’t go over well with Bulma and Vegeta, as they now viewed him as competition. Sure, she had apologized to him and agreed not to hit on him anymore, but damned if she was going to let Goku of all people steal her possible new boyfriend. (Bad enough she had to compete with Vegeta.) “Hey mystery boy, he’s married you know!”

Vegeta also took note of his “new competition” and glared at Goku. “You bastard Kakarrot! Go back home to your wife and stop trying to take what’s mine.”

“Not this again…” Trunks groaned.

“I’m not hitting on him. I’m just trying to cheer him up because he was upset that you two kept hitting on him,” Goku yelled. “You two are being a little ridiculous right now.” 

“I wasn’t doing anymore flirting. I was just warning him that you were married. I don’t want him to get his feelings hurt because I’m a good person,” Bulma crossed her arms. 

“That’s a bit of a stretch in logic, even for you,” Yamcha laughed.

“You stay out of this! I know where you live!”

"Yeah I know you do; I live with you!" Yamcha then run away while Bulma chased him around. At this point, it was better to just let her tire herself out.

After an awkward silence, Trunks said, “Anyway, I need to go back. My mom will want to hear the good news. I will be here in three years, or a few months for me.”  
Farewells were exchanged and Trunks un-capsulated his time machine and climbed aboard. Bulma managed to forget about her crush for a minute to fawn over the craftsmanship and build of the time machine. Trunks supposed that after he came back in three years he should let her look at it as much as she wanted, since she technically invented it. 

Afterwards, Goku and Piccolo discussed the upcoming threat with everyone. After telling Bulma about what a good mom she would make, they all went their separate ways to train, occasionally meeting up to train together. 

*************************************************************************************************************************************************************************  
~In the Future~

Trunks safely returned home, the time machine materializing in the same spot where it had left. It appeared to be early in the morning, several hours after he had first left. The time machine could be off by up to a day or two when it came to return times. His mother still was asleep, which was some relief because he still wasn’t sure what to say to her about his visit to the past. He needed to meet up with Tess, one of the friendly neighborhood smugglers who had no qualms about selling alcohol to minors, provided he had ration cards or something else she needed. Eventually though, Trunks realized he couldn’t just hide in his room all day pretending to be asleep, since his mother was eager to hear how everything went. Bulma made them some coffee and they sat down to talk about it. 

His mother was impressed by how easily he had defeated Freeza and King Cold, although she agreed with him that he may have accidentally changed the past a little more than necessary. Trunks didn’t intend to tell her about the flirting, but then she asked, “So, was the younger version of me cute?” 

Trunks spat out his coffee, horrified. “Mom! What the hell! It’s bad enough she kept asking me things like that.” Trunks turned bright red. 

“What are you talking about? Oh---I get it. She tried to hit on you, didn’t she?” Bulma was laughing. 

“It’s not funny mom,” Trunks crossed his arms, practically pouting, “It was scary.”

“Oh, lighten up. I guess I should have warned you that I was a little bit boy crazy back when I was younger.”

“You also should’ve mentioned that dad liked to hit on random guys too.”

“Really?! Vegeta hit on you? I didn’t think he was into other guys. Although,” Bulma paused briefly, “that does explain those few times I thought he was staring at Yamcha’s butt. I guess I just forgot about it since then we got together.” 

“Ugh,” Trunks took out the paper bag that Yamcha had given him and starting breathing into it. 

“Hey, where did you get the idea to do that?”

“Um, Yamcha says that it helps. With you know, stress.” Trunks left out the fact that Yamcha specifically used it for stress caused by Vegeta and Bulma. 

Bulma sighed and gave a sad smile, “He was always a thoughtful kind of guy.” 

“I’m sorry mom. I—” Trunks didn’t mean to make her upset by bringing up one of her old friends and former boyfriend. One reason why Bulma wasn’t tagging along on the time-travel journal was because it would be too painful for her to go back and see everyone, and then have to come back to the future and live without them once again. 

“It’s okay. With you going back to the past like that, we’re going to end up talking about them more often. I know it’s hard for you too, seeing Gohan again.” 

Trunks and Bulma had an unspoken rule that they were now breaking. He would avoid bringing up her friends and his father as much as possible and Bulma would avoid mentioning Gohan as much as possible. It was less painful that way. 

“He’s very---different. As in, he’s six years old. But,” and Trunks smiled at this, “he’s already really smart. He wanted to talk to me about his favorite math formulas.”

Bulma also smiled. “That sounds just like him. Why don’t you go change and put some stain spray on your shirt? You got coffee all over yourself. Then maybe we can talk some more.”

“Okay.”

“Maybe you can give me some advice on good pick-up lines that you learned from past-me and past-Vegeta too.”

“Mom!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm de-annoying and posting my crack fic. 
> 
> I tried to make it more humorous, but it did tend to get a bit angsty and be about Trunks’ inner pain and to a lesser extent about Future Bulma’s inner pain at the end there. They are such angst muffins. 
> 
> To give credit where credit is due, the idea of Yamcha using paper bags to deal with Vegeta and Bulma-related crazy times comes from this funny fic over at the old kink meme. The pairing is 17/Yamcha/Tien:  
> http://dragonkink.livejournal.com/721.html?thread=661713#t661713
> 
> Please note that the above fic is not safe for work. (Though, why are you reading fanfics at work anyway?)
> 
> P.S. Vegeta is totally TV buddies with Bulma’s mom. They watch the DBZ equivalent of Springer a lot because of the violence. Vegeta’s favorite part is when people get hit with chairs. 
> 
> A virtual cookie to anyone who figures out who Tess is. (Hint: She’s a video game character.)


	2. Chapter 2 (Sequel Times)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AKA: The one wherein Vegeta and Bulma get hit by the clue bat and learn that the “hot purple-haired kid” is their son from the future. Drama and trauma ensues.

Bulma was tired of always being left out of the battles. Yes, she didn’t have super powers, but that was because the world needed her to use her genius for inventing, not fighting. That still didn’t mean she liked not being able to see the battles and always left out of the loop. The only time she was in the loop on Namek was when she was guarding the dragon ball, doing equipment maintenance, fighting giant crabs, and when she got turned into a frog. That hadn’t been pleasant. Despite all this hardship, she never even got to see Freeza up close, either on Namek or on Earth. The least the hot purple-haired guy could have done was save the corpse for her so she could do an alien autopsy or get one of her colleagues to help. This time, she was not going to be left out and would watch the battle from afar in her plane.

Unfortunately, Bulma’s idea of the androids ignoring her turned out to be wrong. Dr. Gero recognized her and he didn’t want to take the chance that she knew where his secret laboratory was. (As everyone knows, all scientists know where other scientists keep their secret labs, especially when said secret lab is filled with doomsday devices/terrifying androids.) If Bulma did know, she would certainly tell the Z Fighters where it was and allow them to get the drop on him. Besides, it’s not as if Dr. Gero had any qualms blowing up civilians to achieve his goals, or just for the sheer fun of it. That goes with the territory when it comes to being a mad scientist who now has super powers due to being an android. He would kill as many people as he needed to (or as many as he felt like) so long as Goku was one of them.  
Dr. Gero fired a ki blast at Bulma’s aircraft, and then stealthily made has escape while everyone was distracted by it. Fortunately for Bulma, hot purple-haired kid managed to save her and Baby Trunks from certain death. 

Then, he turned on Vegeta, “How could you just stand there and not save your wife and your son?”

“Wife? You’re making a lot of assumptions boy. The only thing I care about is becoming the strongest being in the universe. I don’t have time for sentimental bullshit like that!”

“You’re a terrible person. So, this is why my mother doesn’t talk about you in the other timeline. She’s not sad that you’re gone, but sad that you were such an asshole.”

“What do you mean by that?” Vegeta asked, suddenly feeling a bit of dread. That boy better not be implying what Vegeta was thinking he was implying…

“You and Bulma are both my parents. You died fighting the androids when I was baby and Bulma built the time-machine so that I could come back here and save everyone. You even noticed that I resembled her when I first came here. Something about how I have the “same stupid hair” as her if I remember correctly.”

Vegeta had become increasingly horrified as he listened to the boy. “Yes, it all makes sense now. My son from the future, the Super Saiyan. What the fuck! I hit on you! Why didn’t you tell me you were my kid?”

“I might have erased myself from existence in this timeline if I said anything!”

“Ugh. I am going to go kill those bastard androids because there’s no one stronger than me, Super Vegeta. You stay away from me.”

Vegeta flew off. However, Trunks ignored him and followed him. Fighting the androids alone was a terrible idea. He and Gohan had to do it that way because there was literally no one else left. But now, everyone was alive and well and even though Goku’s heart disease showed up later than it was supposed to, the antidote would save him. If they all fought as a team they might be able to save the future in this timeline. 

After the big revelation of the true identity of the mystery boy, Vegeta proceeded to act like even more of an asshole to Trunks than he did to the others. This was coupled with the fact that the other fighters mocked Vegeta as much as they could get away with for the whole ordeal. Granted they did the same to Bulma, but to a lesser extent since she did feel bad about it and wasn’t being an asshole to her son like Vegeta was. Plus, they were a little more afraid of her than Vegeta.  
When Cell murdered Trunks, Vegeta got over it, but things were still awkward.

****************************

Bulma, having overheard the conversation between Trunks and Vegeta proceeded to freak out. She was mad at Vegeta for not saving her, but she’d get him for that one. It wasn’t like she expected an undying declaration of love or anything, but c’mon. A little help out when she’s being attacked by a mad scientist android should be standard.  
Other than being mad, she was mostly disgusted and freaked out. She couldn’t believe she tried to seduce her son of all people. She was just like that woman in that one movie who kept trying to make-out with her time-traveling son, and then dragged him to the prom with her.

“Well, this is terrible. My son and I almost became a wish, my plane is gone, and the only person who cared enough to make sure we didn’t become a wish was my son from the future, whom I tried to seduce,” Bulma said out-loud to herself. 

“I happen to agree,” Krillin smirked at her. “Though, if Trunks wasn’t here, I think I might have been able to make it to the plane and save you. He’s just much faster than me.” 

“Where did you come from? You know what, never mind. If you make fun of me for this, I will do the same thing to you that I’m going to do to Vegeta. For a former space pirate, he sure is naïve, letting me have access to his food…having no idea how the gravity room works…this will be fun.”

“Um, I appreciate why you’re mad, but we sort of need him to fight the androids. So, if you could refrain from major bodily harm until after they’re dead…”

“Don’t worry, I know. I believe in you guys, and once you kill the androids, revenge is a dish best served cold. Can you give me a ride back to West City?”

“Look, I really need to catch up with the other guys---”

Bulma’s mood immediately shifted from melancholy to pissed off. “I can’t believe you would leave a mother and her child stranded alone in the wilderness! What’s wrong with you!?” 

“Don’t worry Bulma, I can fly you back to West City,” Gohan landed next to her and Krillin. 

They picked up Yajirobe on the way back. Once safely home, Bulma had plenty of time to freak out and rehearse what she would say to her other, older son. She ended up compensating for the fact that she had inadvertently tried to seduce her son from the future by overly mothering him and constantly offering him juice boxes and snacks. More often than not, Trunks just accepted her offers even though it was a little weird. He wasn’t a child, but he was still a Saiyan so it wasn’t like he was going to say no to random offers of food. That was still the least weird part of it. It turned out that Bulma in the timeline was a very doting and caring mother, just like his own mother in the future, which made sense since they were technically the same person. Anyway, Bulma was the type of mom who was very into hugs, but due to the awkwardness that occurred when Trunks first showed up, she had a tenancy to loudly blurt out that she hugging him in a completely platonic way. The same thing happened whenever she complimented him in anyway, such as saying how nice his hair looked after it grew out while he was in the time chamber or being proud of him for getting stronger or showing his knowledge of engineering.  
It was still better than when he and his father spent a year in the Room of Spirit and Time and barely spoke to each other. The rare times they did speak often involved them fighting, and Vegeta yelling that he was punching him in a completely platonic way. 

(So there was a romantic version of punching? Full-blooded Saiyans sure were weird.) 

Trunks decided he preferred the awkward completely platonic hugs to the awkward completely platonic punching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Being Future Trunks is suffering. I guess being Bulma and Vegeta is suffering too. I still blame Team Four Star for this one. It’s been a while since I watched the Android saga and the part where Vegeta and Bulma find out that mystery dude from the future is their kid. So, I kind of free-styled that section and may have made Trunks more openly angry at Vegeta than in canon (but let’s be real here, Vegeta deserved it). Just roll with it. Vegeta may be evil, but he has standards and inadvertently hitting on your son from the future is still squicky. 
> 
> That's the end of that and hopefully I correctly labeled it as finished. I had fun writing this; I don't write a lot of fanfics. Mostly just reports for work.


End file.
